The Productivity Panic
when did looking for a job become a full-time job in emotional masochism?
They say looking for a job is a job.
Cute. But does that mean I get to list “emotionally spiraling” and “aggressively refreshing my inbox” under transferable skills?
Welcome to the glamorous world of unemployment, Swiss edition — sponsored by RAV (aka the Arbeitlosenkasse, aka the system that gently reminds you every month that you are both broke and behind on your applications). Fun!
Now don’t get me wrong — I’m grateful. Truly. It’s just… there’s something about waking up every day and throwing your CV at any vaguely relevant job post like it’s confetti at a very quiet, very soul-crushing party. One minute I’m applying for a communications role, the next I’m considering becoming a receptionist in a dental office in Dietikon because it “might build character.”
And Zürich? Oh, Zürich. A stunning city, if you're employed. Otherwise, it’s just a very clean, very expensive reminder that you once had brunch confidence and now you check your bank app like it might bite.
Then come the suggestions.
Well-meaning friends. LinkedIn strangers. That one person from your course in 2019.
Everyone suddenly becomes a CV whisperer.
“Use a more creative format.”
“Use a simpler format.”
“Add more personality.”
“Be more neutral.”
“Make it one page.”
“Make it two pages.”
“Have you tried… being more confident?”
After rewriting your CV for the 11th time, you start to forget who you even are professionally. Did I say I’m a creative communicator or a structured team player? Do I love Excel or tolerate it under duress? At some point, it all becomes a blur of buzzwords and fonts you no longer trust.
And somehow — none of it seems to work.
Because here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: in a city like Zürich, you can write the sexiest CV known to mankind, but if you don’t know someone who knows someone, you’re just another PDF lost in the HR abyss.
The real job market? It’s whisper networks, private Slack groups, and someone’s cousin’s ex-colleague who might pass your name along — if they remember.
The real treat, though, is the rejection emails. You know the ones.
“Dear applicant.” (Nice. Not even my name.)
“We regret to inform you…” (I know you do.)
“The number of qualified candidates was unusually high…” (Was it though? Was it?)
Some days it feels like the job market is Tinder for disappointment: you swipe right on every option, lower your standards dramatically, and still end up ghosted.
But the hardest part? Pretending this doesn’t chip away at you. You start questioning everything — your experience, your tone in cover letters, your entire personality. You rewrite your résumé six times and suddenly you’re wondering if your font is what’s holding you back.
And yet, here we are. Still applying. Still writing awkward “Dear Sir or Madam” openings. Still trying not to take it personally when your inbox is 90% rejection and 10% newsletters you forgot to unsubscribe from.
So if you’re also caught in the job-seeking spiral, trying to stay hopeful while screaming internally — hi. I see you. And I raise you one more painfully tailored motivational letter.
And no, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just stuck in a system where advice is everywhere, but opportunity comes with a gatekeeper.
Because the truth is, we’re not lazy. We’re not unqualified.
We’re just stuck in a very ironic little loop called “adulthood.”
And until someone hires me to professionally cry in cafés, I’ll keep applying.